Transitions have always been hard for me.
My Kindergarten teacher was the first to recognize my need to know what’s coming next. She said to my mom, “as long as Krista knows what is coming and has her ducks in a row, she thrives.”
So she started to let me know when a transition was coming, snack time is in 10 minutes, only 5 minutes left of playtime until nap time, etc… and all was well in my little world.
As I’ve grown up, I haven’t improved much better in this area.
What I have really narrowed it down to is this: transitioning into the unknown is hard for me.
AKA life… and right now, motherhood.
I am in the middle of the biggest transition of my life and I have no idea what awaits me on the other side.
My anxiety is having a field day with this. Pile on top of that my worthiness wound around work and it’s party time. 🥳
Since I moved to LA immediately after college in 2010, I have not stopped. I have not taken more than a week off in 12 years. The thought of not be available or productive or “valuable” makes my heart race and my hands clammy.
Stress has become my natural state. I thrive under pressure and I love a good deadline – the kind I set for myself and literally no one cares whether I hit or not. 😅
And now I am faced with this: a transition into the unknown, where I will not be online or available or working (productive) for at least 2 months.
What if I am forgotten about? What if our clients leave us? What if, what if, what if…
WHAT IF EVERYTHING IS FINE?
What if my team can handle everything? My clients give me grace? My finances don’t dry up?
What if I actually get to take a break from work and give myself full-time to the unknown? To motherhood? To my baby girl?
I don’t know the answer but for those of you who are having a bit of an identity crisis, I’m with you.
So many of us are sitting on the edge of big change, on the precipice of something new, unknown, mysterious and scary!
Let’s jump together.
Let’s rewrite our work wounds, embrace the beauty of the unknown, and dive in heart first.
Who’s with me?